Prepare to be Schlocked!
On Sunday evening, I entered the performance of Monsters of Schlock at the Winter Gardens and there was no turning back. What lay ahead of me was just the most ridiculously stupid superhuman attempt of hard core Schlock.
What is Schlock? I don’t know, but what I do know is that it will hurt and if you don’t feel the pain then you’re obviously missing something. The comedy duo consists of Burnaby Q Orbax, and Sweet Pepper Klopek, his brother, or so we are told. The show kicked off and the destruction of bodily parts began as Orbax tried to mutilate Sweet Pepper – the shy one, or is he just boring? Maybe both, but Sweet Pepper is also a man of steel, or so it would appear, as Orbax attached a vole trap to Sweet Pepper’s arm and let the trap snap onto his bare skin. The following stunt involved a mouse trap, or (mouth trap) which was snapped shut onto Pepper’s tongue, without the slightest hint of blood. Sweet Pepper had definitely been Schlocked, as much of the audience had too.
A card trick followed, with the help of a few members of the audience who had to actually staple, with a real staple gun, the playing cards to a part of Sweet Pepper’s body, such as his cheek (face), cheek (butt), and his chest. Again, no sign of blood so perhaps he is superhuman after all. Orbax next lost a gamble and had to perform a stunt which involved attaching metal hooks to the insides of his eyelids. Now this is Schlocking, but the hooks were attached to chains, which were attached to a heavy metal box, which Orbax then lifted with the power of his eyelids… total Schlock madness!
More Schlocking events and stunts took place on the stage for the seventy painful minutes of Schlocking mayhem as the brothers beat each other into submission and Schlocked each other with various tools, weapons, and Schlock factors.
Thanks to the Monsters of Schlock. You were weird. Welcome to Blackpool and Showzam!
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